Wait On The Lord

Genesis TwentyThree - Sarah's Death & Abraham's Sadness

He spoke to Ephron in the hearing of the people of the land, saying,
“If you will only please listen to me; I will give the price of the field, accept it from me
that I may bury my dead there.” Then Ephron answered Abraham, saying to him, 
“My lord, listen to me; a piece of land worth four hundred shekels of silver, what is that 
between me and you? So bury your dead.” Abraham listened to Ephron; and Abraham 
weighed out for Ephron the silver which he had named in the hearing of the sons of Heth,
four hundred shekels of silver, commercial standard.

Genesis 23:13-16

I cannot imagine how painful it would have been for Abraham and Isaac to have gone through the death of their beloved. Even with the hope of the Savior to come, pain is still painful and loss is still heartbreaking. I don't know Ephron's true intentions of speaking the price of the land- whether it be that he finally caved in mentioning it to Abraham because he was tired of addressing that it was okay not to pay, or because Ephron genuinely thought that 400 shekels of silver was considered as chump change.. but what I can see that Abraham wanted to honor Sarah as his wife up until the end. In his mourning, in his desire to bury her on foreign soil and to buy that piece of land saying yes, this burial site is mine, and those who are buried in it are mine and will be mine. It shows he genuinely loved Sarah as his own and he wanted to own up to that up until the very end. It gives me chills just thinking about how incredibly loving he must have been through all those years with her. Through his gratitude towards God's grace of granting him such a woman Abraham loved Sarah wholeheartedly. He loved her because Abraham was first loved by the Lord. The love that transcends through death and eternal life, that is the type of legacy Abraham showed for the Christ that was to come.. How I desire to be graced by such a glimpse of that type of grand affection from the Lord. I await for my Beloved, He fights my battles for me(Exodus 14:14) and He will return with arms full of lilies (Song of Solomon 6:2-3) and so I await for Him (Isaiah 40:3, Psalm 27:14)

Genesis TwentyTwo - The Lord Will Provide

Then they came to the place of which God had told him; and Abraham built the altar there 
and arranged the wood, and bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the 
wood. Abraham stretched out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But the angel 
of the Lord called to him from heaven and said, “Abraham, Abraham!” 
And he said, “Here I am.” He said, “Do not stretch out your hand against the lad, 
and do nothing to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld 
your son, your only son, from Me.” Then Abraham raised his eyes and looked, and 
behold, behind him a ram caught in the thicket by his horns; and Abraham went and took 
the ram and offered him up for a burnt offering in the place of his son. Abraham called the 
name of that place The Lord Will Provide, as it is said to this day, 
“In the mount of the Lord it will be provided.”

Genesis 22:6-12

How gracious God is to such a wretch as I.. Lately I've begun to see a lot of the error in my ways of thinking in regards to God's grace and mercy. I am continually reminded that what I think I know is not all that there is and my view of God is extremely small in comparison to whom He truly was, is and ever will be. It's not something He needs to do but He graciously provides. My heart is shattered from the reprove of God's discipline upon my life and I'm grateful for it and desire even more of it. For I know He disciplines those He loves. I know not what the Lord has planned apart from bringing glory to His own name and for those whom He loves to enjoy Him now and forever.

I've been sick for the last week or so and it's been taking a toll upon my flesh. The only good I felt like that came out of it was the fact that I now sleep a lot earlier which means I wake up earlier, which in turn means I have more time in the mornings. I'm still on medication for my sickness but it's been a steady discipline that God has granted me regarding my lack of it these last few days. It got so bad to the point of my fever running up to 102 degrees and my hot tears coming down on my face asking God to please heal me, and even if He doesn't that I may still be gracious.. My parents being there for me in the mist of it all has been praying for me continuously and I recognize just how much of a blessing it is to have parents of faith. Even more so grateful that God grants me health even now. He doesn't owe anyone anything yet He gives so much.. none can repay none can grasp the goodness He is, and none can compare.. Even as God demands Abraham to sacrifice his son, in the end God says no it was just a test! but in turn He secretly declares that He will sacrifice His own Son...