Taming The Tongue

"We read this in Isaiah 6:1-7,

In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one called to another and said:

“Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!”

And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!”

Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for” (Isaiah 6:1-7).

I can’t get out of my mind the way Isaiah responds to his vision of God’s holiness.

Seeing God does not produce giddiness or religious flippancy. It produces terror and self-loathing. Isaiah does not respond with pride or elitism, boasting that he alone has experienced this wonderful privilege. He is undone! He sees himself as insufferably unrighteous compared to the glorious purity and transcendence of the King. We arrogantly measure sin solely in terms of its effects both within the created order and upon us. Isaiah, on the other hand, measures it by the majesty and purity of the One against whom it is perpetrated."

(excerpt from Samstorms)

Up until this point, my life has been an open book (or in this case open blog) I have said all sorts of convictions that I had during these last few months. Of course I have the graces of erasing and re-typing any misconstrued information that I would utter on this platform, yet I am daily reminded of how my actual tongue can wreak havoc in my life. It's been an absolute nightmare. Thinking of going on an internet "cleansing" for a while so I don't think I would be posting as much as I do. I have gotten rid of my twitter and slowly but surely plan on getting rid of majority of my social media content so I can focus more on this short life for the better Overall I hope it'll be a time of drawing closer to the Lord...

See you all in a few months.

Struggling

As of late my heart was so discouraged. My tears could not stop from flowing every night and my mind was in the deepest crevasse of agony. Every tiny lie, every lustful thought, every bitter moment towards someone was that much more painful and I feared that God had abandoned me in my wretched state. How holy is our Lord? How sinful am I? How awesome is He to even grant me such eyes to see and air to breathe? My prayers have been more of a cry to God to not give up on me. I pray He does not give up on me, I pray I will not test His patience and that He will guide me towards being sanctified. I pray He may keep me until the very end of eternity.

I've noticed I struggle so much. Yet I struggle because I no longer desire to be in a state of self-deception as I once was before. I struggle because prior to God showing me, I did not know. I did not know just how self-destructive I was and what the consequences may be of that. Oh, how I wish I was taught what I know now a little earlier in my life, how foolish was I, how short life is! Yet, I'm grateful He shows me now, grateful He guides me even now with the movements across a computer keyboard. May the Lord win in this battle, may He win and may the glory be to Him always and forevermore...