"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"
Psalm 27:14
As I stayed awake on a recent heated summer morning at 2AM I began to ponder. My whole life has been flipped from 5 years ago. I never imagined that I would be where I am now... In any way, shape or form. My heart wrenches within me thinking about the upsetting moments of life where it didn't go a way I thought it would or struggling with issues I thought was dealt with previously. So much of me has become utterly broken and embarrassingly vulnerable that I feel as if I am nothing more than a body full of bones and a beaten soul... Then I whispered a prayer to the Lord, unexpectedly in tears, asking "may these sacrifices not be in vain"...
God then reminded my soul saying "wait for the Lord" repeatedly like a broken record. But then I realize it's not a broken record playing but my broken self not hearing clearly and so He graciously repeats it for me. How much has God given me compared to what I have laid down for Him? It is incomparable. I must remind my constantly mending soul that God is good and all that He does for me is good (despite the pain, no, including the pain!) I have to trust that He will complete the good work He has started. Even gold needs to be refined in the fire before its presented to the King... He is the Almighty King and I am but mere creation.. But creation He so chooses to love. It's conceivable but so undeniably hard to believe. Yet who am I to argue with the one that chooses to love such an undeserving one such as myself? Who graciously laid down His whole-life for my wretched-life so that I may have eternal-life?
