Genesis Twenty - Yet Still Mercy

"Now therefore, restore the man’s wife, for he is a prophet, and he will
pray for you and you will live. But if you do not restore her,
know that you shall surely die, you and all who are yours."

Genesis 20:7

In God's sovereignty Abraham sojourned.. In light of reading the chapter of the almost-sin-of-adultery I was curious of Matthew Henry's commentary on it. What drew my attention was this; "He had been guilty of this same sin before, and had been reproved for it, and convinced of the folly of the suggestion which induced him to it; yet he returns to it. Note, It is possible that a good man may, not only fall into sin, but relapse into the same sin, through the surprise and strength of temptation and the infirmity of the flesh. Let backsliders repent then, but not despair" If one claims that they are sinless they are liars and the truth is not in them. (1 John 1:8) And although sad, it is also encouraging to a degree of seeing Abraham "relapsing" over the sin of compromising and falling into fear in the flesh. I am imperfect beyond measure. So much so that I cannot even see it in me at times which is also very worrisome for me. My heart and flesh may fail, yet God does not. He never did and He never will. (Psalm 73:26) 

How blinded we are of our own sins at times, not understanding that there is a constant breeze of the world that continues to blow the specks of pride into our own eyes. Not remembering that we are wretched and sinful if not more so, than the next person. Of course not to say we ought to say nothing when it comes to sins, but to truly examine our own hearts and actions reflecting upon ourselves to see whether that breeze indeed carried with it a speck of pride that is to be lodged into our own view. As of late I wonder what the Lord is doing among sinners such as I. He is working all things for good yet there are specks in my eyes and it is tearful with continual whining and frustration.. May the brokenness He allowed be made new in Him... I long for it for I am weary and desire rest...

How To Soften A Hard Heart

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise."

Psalm 51:17

The last few weeks I had a secret prayer that I didn't utter a word to anyone about. It was said in the back of my mind and kept there so as to not seem a fool yet God knew of it. He knew of it and has graciously granted me to comprehend a thin layer of how He is sovereign over all. My personally embarrassing question was: "how does one soften a hard heart?" We tend to get caught up in the daily routine of living in the world not fully focused on Christ and the gospel.. So as I feared that my heart would harden I silently prayed this prayer within me..

We are clay. We are dust. We are made of dust only to return to dust. (Ecclesiastes 3:20) My physical body is indeed dust that will return to dust, yet I also do believe my soul is also made of clay. For there is a maker and the maker does say to soften one's heart towards Him. (Hebrews 3:15) Clay can turn soft or hard. But the profound question that got my mind to think was "What do you have to do to clay to get it to harden?" and the answer was.. "nothing." You do absolutely nothing for the clay to harden. Clay in it's natural state desires nothing more than to be hardened. Then my thoughts began to rise upon how one may soften hardening clay? The answer again is "nothing." God owns all that He created. He owns me and my heart. He owns the waters to revive my dulled state of a hard heart. We do not have the living water that is there to revive us from our hardening. We are to ask for it. We are to desire and thirst for it. The Word is of God and He is God. He is the living water. Conclusively going to the Bible, reading the word, it will bring forth living waters for He is living water itself. Sure, pouring a cup or two of water on a hardening piece of clay may not seem like it's doing much in the beginning but I have hope that the more you pour unto it- the more you continue to go back and forth from the well towards the fire of hardened souls it will soften the surface and at some point be able to be malleable yet again ONLY by God's abundant grace.

If one is too hard to do so, we ought to be broken. We are to die to ourselves and let the Almighty Creator mend us and mold us. Does He not give us another day to breathe the life granted to us? Ask and it shall be given, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be open (Matthew 7:7) Yet, when we ask we must ask in faith with no doubting. (James 1:6) and where does that faith come from? Why it comes from the Word of God Himself of course. He is rich in mercy and gives wisdom to all who ask without reproach! May we go after the One who created us to yearn for Him. May we go after the One who granted us a never-ending vortex of a hole in our soul which can only be filled up by one who is indeed never-ending love.. We are not content with our lives for a reason. We are always seeking the next high, the next big thing when nothing is as high or lofty as the Lord God Himself.. May we have peace with His true word. His always faithful and true word that is granted to us. Let us not dwell in what we cannot control but dwell in the One who is in control of everything...