Joy Beyond The Sorrow

“For a moment I withdrew, 

And thy heart was filled with pain, 

But my mercies I'll renew, 

Thou shalt soon rejoice again. 

Though I scorn to hide my face, 

Very soon my wrath shall cease. 

‘Tis but for a moment's space, 

Ending in eternal peace.” 

- Joy Beyond The Sorrow (click to listen)

The thought of dying to one's self(desires) is something I really didn't come to an understanding until God showed me of my wretchedness and how deadly and disgusting it is. It's as if a child holds unto a handful of fecal matter and claims it's cake. The Father lovingly shows how disgusting and vile it is for His child to hold unto fecal matter disciplines the child so they do not go after it again and even so continues to wash them whenever the child runs to Him. My heart burdened with my own sinfulness has been a roller coaster ride.. and I hate roller coasters. My desire to please God has never been greater in my life than it has over the past year. May God reveal to me His gracious mercy and love.. Though I am weary for it seems as if He has turned away from me.. I'd rather not dwell in that mindset but to hold unto the hope that Jesus Christ came to save sinners who I am a one of the most wretched ones. May I continue to ask.. seek and ultimately may He find me. I desire to turn from my wicked ways and draw closer to the Lord.. May the Lord purge me of all evil intents and renew my thirst and longing for Him and Him alone...