Two cups of caffeine and two chapters into Timothy Keller's 'The Meaning of Marriage' and I've come to the realization of just how selfish I am as a human being. Honestly, I don't understand the complexity of the human condition, but what I do understand is that selfishness derives from childishness. The difference between being childish and being child-like is vast. Being 'childish' comes with only the thoughts for the self, you know the thoughts; "how will this situation benefit for me?" Whereas being 'child-like' comes with the thoughts such as; this situation may benefit me but will anyone get hurt in the process? If you've seen children interact with wonder and excitement and genuine concern for others, you're going to notice that being child-like shows that they're not phased by the world around them (not yet anyway.) My heart yearns for those moments from my past, where I was childish, and change the reactions I had to being more child-like. Apologizing from the heart, loving people more, and being more forgiving.. and yet at the same time I'm so grateful to have this realization now than later because I get to look back on all the flawed parts of me and see how much of a contrast difference God has allowed in my life to better treat those around me. Despite how crippling the pain is and how agonizing these memories are, I can only say that I am grateful.. praying, hoping that one day in the future I'll be able to be a better friend to those whom I will meet in the future and those I have yet to make amends with.
When I was a child,
I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I gave up my childish ways.
1 Corinthians 13:11
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